Streamlining

I meant to post when we got back from vacation, but I've been so busy I really haven't had the time to sit down at any of my blogs.  But that's a good thing. When I'm happy and upbeat, I don't think much about this blog, and that's not fair.  This blog deserves more than just my whining and dark thoughts.  This blog was intended to be my "truthful" and honest blog, and the truth is I've been feeling pretty damn great lately.

While J and I were on vacation, as we always do, we had time to devote to long deep conversations about our lives.  One of the things we both agreed on is, it really is time to declutter, from every nook and cranny.  Time to unload all the junk- from our home, our bodies, our day to day existence, from our future. Time to make better choices going forward, time to give every action real thought and not just cave to the old impulses.  To simplify our immediate world.

When we got home, we decided to open up a second Etsy shop, one devoted to just vintage items.  I had sold a few vintage pieces in my regular shop, but didn't list much because I didn't want to have that overshadow my pottery.  So, I separated everything into a new shop.  We have been digging through the basement, finding things that serve no purpose, have no meaning, in our current life together.  Some of the items are things from our pre-together days, some of them are from high school!  A lot of items are just things we bought at auctions or flea markets for some fleeting moment of joy, but now we stare at these things and say: You know, I really hate that vase after all.  Or, why did we buy that?  Those are the things that have no reason to take up the space around us. Things that serve no purpose in our lives, don't need to be in our lives.  Simple as that.  We've been having fun opening up all those dusty boxes, crowded into the dark corners, and wow hey look at this!  I forgot we even had this!  It's cool, but, what do we need to keep it for?

If it's been boxed up in a closet or down in the basement for all these years, why do we have it?  Maybe these things are better off with someone else, who will enjoy them and use them, give them a proper warm welcome into their home.  We donate to Goodwill quite frequently, but we have some items that have a bit of value, and we decided why not try to sell them?  So it's been a new adventure, and so far it's going well.  I have a dining room table filled with things ready to be photographed and listed.  And J has tasked me to list a lot of his sports memorabilia on eBay, and frankly that's selling like crazy.  He says I'm pricing things way too low.  I said I know, but we decided the reason we are doing this is to make certain we end up with more space, not necessarily more money.  Yesterday I sold something from my high school days (early 1980's) for $35.  J told me to ask $50 for it.  I sold it within hours of listing it, and he said that proved I should have asked more.  I told him, hey, that's a box gone from the basement and $35 we didn't have the day before.  And it was for something meaningless to me now, from 30 years ago, that I'm sure my parents probably paid for anyhow.  He finally said yes, you are right.  I say a lower sell price or starting bid, is almost a guaranteed sale.  And that means, the item is as good as gone from our home.  That is our goal, after all.

My other Etsy shop is doing well, in fact I've been getting so many emails for custom orders that I had to say no more for awhile, until I can get caught up with the requests I've received.  The custom orders are great, but being creative is even better.  I love to look at other shops on Etsy, but I'm oh so careful that I don't copy anyone else's work.  Sometimes I come up with an idea and think this has to be unique, only to find someone else is already making it.  But that's okay too. Heck, I even took the time to make something for myself because dang, I deserve it! I won't get rich at $5 a crack, but what's most important to me is that I'm enjoying it.  It's been a long time since I was able to say, I am enjoying my life, I am enjoying my days, I am enjoying being alive!  I am feeling like I have a purpose, and I haven't felt that in awhile.  I've even found pleasure in driving the back country roads into town, to go to the post office, to have a real reason to get out of the house and into the world but not be sucked into it against my will. The windows down, the radio on, the sun on my face.  Simple.

 MISS GEE

Smiling This Week

Today I have to write a happy post.  I have to get out of that hole of negativity.  I've been feeling better the last few days, and I want to keep on riding that roller coaster up to the peak!

I know I vowed at the beginning of the year to have more positive energy and try to be more upbeat.  To blog more often, but "less" each time.  This week has been pretty decent, it's been super cold but sunny.  I can deal with that.  J and I have been having good talks lately, I think because he is so very down about his job right now.  It seems that when he hates his job the most, is the time he focuses more on his real life.  He's extremely gung-ho right now about paying off the debt we have scattered about here and there.  Not much compared to some, but enough that we need to tackle it now.  Our house will be paid off in three years, his new truck this summer.  He is getting ready to make the final payment on a small 401K loan we had to take out a few years back.  He said just paying off that loan will bring home an extra $500 a month on his paycheck.  Woo-Hoo!  But right now he's in a saving mode, not a spending mode.  I'm okay with that! I would say our debt is average, and although we are no longer bringing in a second income, it's amazing how much our expenses have been cut back just by me staying at home.  Gas, food out, dressy clothes.  I drive my car so infrequently now, I probably only fill up every other month, instead of every week.

Last night as we were huddled in our warm living room watching TV, J reflected on the past 10+ years saying he didn't know where he would be if he hadn't met me.  He joked he'd be face down in the gutter somewhere- when I met him he smoked two packs a day and drank heavily every night.  He quit the cigarettes cold turkey about 7-8 years ago, and only has the rare occasional drink these days- to relax and enjoy, not to become numb and forget.  Back when I started seeing him in 2003 he spent all his free time in bars- he ate all his meals there, found all his entertainment there (video games, pool, darts), and if he wasn't at work or asleep at home, he was in his favorite neighborhood grub pub with a large pizza and Jack and Coke.

And J's lost about 50-60 pounds since we first met.  I would like to think it all has to do with me- what wife doesn't want that ego booster?- but I think it's also just a sign of maturity.  Moving from your thirties into your forties, and then staring down fifty.  He went from having his car keys taken away at the pool hall on Friday nights, to taking his blood sugar readings every morning.  Age or my influence, I'm not sure, but whatever the reason I'm glad for the changes.  And I hope it means he'll be around with me for a very long time to come.  I have a friend with a husband who said he would rather eat a pack of cookies and just take his insulin shots, and nothing she can say or do will change him.  I'm delighted that I have a husband who is more than willing and eager to take control of his own health, without my nagging.  Then again, I wonder about where I would be if I hadn't met J.  He rescued me from my abusive first marriage and offered me a safe and comfortable future, and I don't think I would ever have had the courage to leave my ex if it wasn't for J.

Maybe I'm in a better mood because this weekend we leave for a vacation.  Our life together has always centered around travel, and even though this year we plan to take less expensive trips, we do need our vacations to stay sane.  We are headed to my hometown- we usually go once a year and for some reason we didn't make it down there in 2013.  We're going to take the first three days on the road to meander somewhat, and be alone, before we go rolling into my parents' driveway.  I have mentioned before, my hometown is actually a sunny gulf beach, so it's not like we're headed off to a prison camp.  But once we get to my parents house, it's difficult for J and I to find quiet alone time- they want to go everywhere and do everything with us and of course, we feel obligated because we technically are there to see them.  I know, you're saying, you don't have children, all you have is alone time every day!  It's not the same.

It's not the same at home when you're clearing away dinner dishes or trimming hedges or sorting through boxes in the basement.  Yes, it's just me and J, but the cobwebs and dust in the garage won't ever compare to soft white sand between your toes.  I have trouble believing those commercials on TV where the couples are out there in the yard pulling weeds or painting the mailbox, then suddenly look over at each other, stinky and sweaty, and think, wow this is romantic let's have sex.  Does that really happen?  Maybe it's just us, or me.  But even though we will be spending the second half of our trip at my parents' house, sleeping in my sister's old bedroom (my bedroom was turned into a playroom for the grandsons), it's enough to let J unwind and catch his breath.

And yeah, I do have those moments where I think, nothing is better than watching the waves come rolling towards you at the end of the day.

MISS GEE