I know I vowed at the beginning of the year to have more positive energy and try to be more upbeat. To blog more often, but "less" each time. This week has been pretty decent, it's been super cold but sunny. I can deal with that. J and I have been having good talks lately, I think because he is so very down about his job right now. It seems that when he hates his job the most, is the time he focuses more on his real life. He's extremely gung-ho right now about paying off the debt we have scattered about here and there. Not much compared to some, but enough that we need to tackle it now. Our house will be paid off in three years, his new truck this summer. He is getting ready to make the final payment on a small 401K loan we had to take out a few years back. He said just paying off that loan will bring home an extra $500 a month on his paycheck. Woo-Hoo! But right now he's in a saving mode, not a spending mode. I'm okay with that! I would say our debt is average, and although we are no longer bringing in a second income, it's amazing how much our expenses have been cut back just by me staying at home. Gas, food out, dressy clothes. I drive my car so infrequently now, I probably only fill up every other month, instead of every week.
Last night as we were huddled in our warm living room watching TV, J reflected on the past 10+ years saying he didn't know where he would be if he hadn't met me. He joked he'd be face down in the gutter somewhere- when I met him he smoked two packs a day and drank heavily every night. He quit the cigarettes cold turkey about 7-8 years ago, and only has the rare occasional drink these days- to relax and enjoy, not to become numb and forget. Back when I started seeing him in 2003 he spent all his free time in bars- he ate all his meals there, found all his entertainment there (video games, pool, darts), and if he wasn't at work or asleep at home, he was in his favorite neighborhood grub pub with a large pizza and Jack and Coke.
And J's lost about 50-60 pounds since we first met. I would like to think it all has to do with me- what wife doesn't want that ego booster?- but I think it's also just a sign of maturity. Moving from your thirties into your forties, and then staring down fifty. He went from having his car keys taken away at the pool hall on Friday nights, to taking his blood sugar readings every morning. Age or my influence, I'm not sure, but whatever the reason I'm glad for the changes. And I hope it means he'll be around with me for a very long time to come. I have a friend with a husband who said he would rather eat a pack of cookies and just take his insulin shots, and nothing she can say or do will change him. I'm delighted that I have a husband who is more than willing and eager to take control of his own health, without my nagging. Then again, I wonder about where I would be if I hadn't met J. He rescued me from my abusive first marriage and offered me a safe and comfortable future, and I don't think I would ever have had the courage to leave my ex if it wasn't for J.
Maybe I'm in a better mood because this weekend we leave for a vacation. Our life together has always centered around travel, and even though this year we plan to take less expensive trips, we do need our vacations to stay sane. We are headed to my hometown- we usually go once a year and for some reason we didn't make it down there in 2013. We're going to take the first three days on the road to meander somewhat, and be alone, before we go rolling into my parents' driveway. I have mentioned before, my hometown is actually a sunny gulf beach, so it's not like we're headed off to a prison camp. But once we get to my parents house, it's difficult for J and I to find quiet alone time- they want to go everywhere and do everything with us and of course, we feel obligated because we technically are there to see them. I know, you're saying, you don't have children, all you have is alone time every day! It's not the same.
It's not the same at home when you're clearing away dinner dishes or trimming hedges or sorting through boxes in the basement. Yes, it's just me and J, but the cobwebs and dust in the garage won't ever compare to soft white sand between your toes. I have trouble believing those commercials on TV where the couples are out there in the yard pulling weeds or painting the mailbox, then suddenly look over at each other, stinky and sweaty, and think, wow this is romantic let's have sex. Does that really happen? Maybe it's just us, or me. But even though we will be spending the second half of our trip at my parents' house, sleeping in my sister's old bedroom (my bedroom was turned into a playroom for the grandsons), it's enough to let J unwind and catch his breath.
And yeah, I do have those moments where I think, nothing is better than watching the waves come rolling towards you at the end of the day.
MISS GEE
No comments:
Post a Comment