If J was at home today, we probably would already be in town running errands like dropping off his work clothes at the dry cleaners, going to the large warehouse club to stock up on bulk items, stopping in at the grocery store, having lunch out. That's our regular Saturday routine when we are in town, and I love it, the comfort in the normalcy and teamwork. J and I do all our errands together, and I appreciate that I have a husband who actually enjoys going to get groceries. It sounds so mundane, but there are weeks where our Saturdays spent buying bird seed, paper towels, and frozen pizzas, are the absolute highlights of my life! We had a great night last night, sushi dinner out with another couple, and then bowling until almost midnight- the guys drank beer all night long and we wives happily drove them home. J deserves to have his day today, to spend the way he wants. And so today I am balancing the housework with the things I want to do for myself. Hell, it's after noon and I haven't even gotten out of my pajamas yet. I celebrate that as well!
The laundry is almost done, I'm getting ready to put all the bed linens in the washer. I've started cleaning the bathrooms, sorting the recycling, scrubbing the stove top. But in between I've been working on pottery, and shortly I'm going to go sit in my favorite spot in the house and read. On my Saturdays alone, I flit from place to place, working on chores a few minutes here and there, then bounding upstairs to glaze bisque bowls. By the time J gets home tonight, I will feel as though I accomplished a great deal. It will be a good day- I know my hubby is having a nice afternoon and blowing off the stress of a super hard week at work, and I will be able to start off my Sunday knowing that all my housework is done. And I will have enough pieces finished and ready that I can load up my kiln tomorrow morning.
I have a lot of things that I love to do- paint, write, cook, garden- but I am very mediocre at them all. And that's okay. I never expected to have art hanging in a gallery, or win the Pulitzer Prize for my fiction. I've sold plenty of my crafts over the years. Back in the 80's when street fairs were all the rage, I would set up booths with my mom or friends, and sell small things. Later on in the early 90's, I had a brief period of time when I wasn't working and I set up at flea markets and art festivals. It wasn't enough money to make a living, just enough to make it a fun hobby that kept me going. I have never taken art classes, and my painting is amateurish at best. But in the new century, I've managed to sell everything I've listed on eBay or Etsy. I just haven't listed anything since we moved here.
I had always wanted to do pottery, I've always loved buying it from little shops during weekend mountain getaways or at auctions and estate sales. My china cabinet is full of both local pieces and vintage pottery, some even handed down to me by family. Back in our old town, I decided one day I wanted to give it a shot, so in 2006 I signed up for a workshop at one of the city rec centers. I was totally hooked, and went to classes every Tuesday night after work. I would make pieces all week long, take them to classes to drop them off for firing. I started selling everything online. I never got a chance to take a class on using the wheel, so everything I make is formed by hand. I do use a lot of rubber stamps for designs, but I don't really feel like that's cheating! I also use commercial premade glazes, and most of the pottery in shops use glazes that are homemade by the potter. Commercial glaze is a little pricey, and I do want to learn how to make my own eventually.
Moving here, I was unable to find any kind of pottery studios nearby, everything was at least 45 minutes away in any direction. Plus now with the hours at my job expanding constantly, I was not able to commit to any kind of regular classes, even if I had the gumption to drive that distance. Last year, my wonderful Mister finally broke down and bought me a kiln of my own. I'd never used one before, ever. So, being that J is so very smart and practical, we agreed on getting the smallest and least expensive kiln available. It's actually a test kiln, which is designed for potters to test fire very small pieces, for example to see what a new glaze might look like once it's fired. And since I just make small handmade pieces, normally 4 x 4 tiles or candle holders, it made sense. J promised that if, in a couple of years, I decided that I wanted a larger kiln he would happily get it for me. I think he wants to make certain this is something I will stick with, instead of my normal process of getting all excited about a new hobby only to lose interest in a few months. A smart move, since a larger kiln will run a few thousand bucks. Even this little one, was a dime.
I've been making pieces in the evenings and on weekends when we're at home, but so far I have not listed a single thing online to sell. My cabinet where I've been placing all my finished pieces, is about full now. But I have nitpicked imagined flaws on every item to the point where, I have convinced myself not to list it, that no one would want to buy it. I'm not sure where this attitude is coming from, knowing that I successfully sold my pieces in the past. Why am I not putting the items on my Etsy page, and letting people decide for themselves if they want to buy it or not? I am convincing myself that suddenly I'm not good enough. I look at all the other pottery out there on Etsy and look at mine and say, wow I suck. But no one is going to criticize me as harshly as I will. J is trying to be supportive and encouraging me to get everything listed. He's even been saving small boxes for me and bubble wrap, for when I make a sale and need to ship it. Now that is a very optimistic partner I have. Right now, just the fact that I've actually been working on the pottery, has started me on the regular routine of working on a piece every night. Even if it's 15 minutes of painting a coat of glaze. Wish I could make myself get on the treadmill every night too, but that's another area of my life I'm still trying to work on. I know I'm not a great potter, I can't make a vase or a coffee mug, but somewhere in the last 2-3 years I have lost my self-confidence in my art. Where did it go? Hhhmmm....
And just so everyone doesn't think I'm delusional and to show that I actually do pottery, here is one of my favorite tiles that I made and sold a few years ago, River Dance. I actually won a blue ribbon for this piece, from an online art competition. So I know I can do this.
I just need to find that creativity and confidence again now!
MISS GEE
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