I didn't expect all of my negative behavioral issues to change overnight, so I'm not going to get upset that some of my worst habits continued last week. The laziness, the brain fog, the days where I forgot to shower and just vegged out in front of the TV. I know it's going to take awhile for things to settle down, for me to create my new routines. To unpack. To find direction. To just "deal with it" every day.
Unpacking has been the hardest thing to deal with, but I'm not going to stress out about it. Eventually I will "find" everything. Eventually I will figure out where I want things to go. Having a much smaller house, and now having no basement, will produce challenges. But I'm not going to worry at this point.
The cats have settled in nicely. That was one of my main concerns. This house has windows galore, so they've been happy watching the birds and squirrels. I met with the new pet sitters last week. I have reservations about them, but I'll give them a fair chance. They were recommended by family members, so I have to put my trust in that. We leave this Friday for vacation and won't be returning until the next next Tuesday. It's a long trip, and a long time to leave my babies in a relatively new environment, and I will worry about the new people in my home taking care of them. But I will try to put that out of my mind and relax and enjoy the vacation.
J needs this vacation badly. He is extremely stressed out about work, so this two week break will hopefully let him recuperate from a tough assignment. Even though we get back on Tuesday of the second week, since he travels for work, his boss is allowing him to "work from home" for the rest of that week. That's extra good news for me because he can help do some things around here that I'm not physically able to do. Our "first" weekend at the new house, was actually spent back down at the old house where we finished up some cleaning and packing. And bought a new car. Yes, really, from a friend. We towed it to the new house in an unrelenting storm that caused flooding on our new country road. We almost didn't get back here. But as always, when J is in charge, everything worked out fine. He has the golden touch, I swear.
I'm looking forward to the vacation, but I'm looking forward to getting back here so I can get things done, unpack, organize, find my new life. I know it's going to work out, I feel it already. My mood has been so much lighter. I can't say my anxiety is gone, because any small glitch in my day can cause me to spiral out of control. But so far it's been manageable. I just tell myself that everything is new, and everything is going to be different and unfamiliar right now until I get used to it. Then this new phase of my life can truly begin.
MISS GEE
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