Empty Nest

I wanted to wait a bit of being home alone before I posted.  The first two weeks of my empty nest have been busy for me and the days flew by and J was home before I knew it.  This week, I have a few appointments to attend, but nothing big really on the books and it will be a truer version of "this is my life now".  I know I am going to have my blue moments, just like I always do, and it doesn't have anything to do with whether or not my husband is out of town.  They are going to happen.

And although I will miss my husband and my empty bed, I refuse to get bogged down in the negatives and the dark thoughts.  I will concentrate on all the positives this new job will bring- for J as a leader and a man who was ready for the change, and for us as a couple trying to build the foundation of our retirement.  Despite all my bad days, I have always supported J.  I know J misses being home, and I miss J being here.  But there really is no reason to be "sad", so I won't focus on that.  If I had asked him to not put in for that promotion, because I didn't want him to be gone, he would have never considered it.  But we're a team, it's not always about me.  What's good for J is good for me as well.

J's first travel assignment is in Wisconsin.  He has to work the night shift, and more than likely he'll have to go back there for the next 3 or more weeks.  Things are in a state of flux at that particular warehouse, with comings and goings, a brand new manager and another one about to be hired.  J is there to help guide the team and fill in for the missing members. Working night shift has meant leaving on Sunday morning and coming home Friday afternoon.  Makes for a short weekend for us, but that will be okay.  I told him it reminds me of the two plus years we dated before we got married.  Although we worked together, we didn't have time to see each other during the week.  We only spent from Friday evenings until Sunday afternoons together.  We survived it back then.

Of course, we still have a dark shadow hanging over us.  Awhile back I posted about another company buying us out.  That has yet to happen.  In fact, it's moving through the federal court system right now as to whether or not it's going to happen because the FTC is trying to block it.  J took this new corporate job knowing that, should the buyout happen, he could potentially have a much larger target on his back.  But everyone he talked to said the merger was unlikely to proceed at this point, and we are still crossing our fingers on that, awaiting word.  Not to say that J would absolutely lose his job, but we all know with corporate America when two mega-companies combine forces, they lay people off faster than a bolt of lightning.  Corporate jobs would likely be the first to go, and we're the smaller of the two companies so the bloodletting would come from our side.  Hopefully the deal will get squashed- for once I'm FOR the federal government butting into business! But J said he had to take this chance, this opportunity may never present itself again.  I don't think he regrets it. Having said that, I do believe he will be nervous and on edge until the final word from the court is handed down, and as I type this, the judge is making his decision.

I know it's going to be a lot for both of us to get used to.  But I know we both will.  And I know as long as I can stay busy with things that I enjoy, especially in the evening, I will continue to treat this new phase of our life together as a positive.  I might sound like a tired lazy lump on many of my posts, but I really do have so many things I want to work on, things I want to accomplish in my personal life.  I feel as though, with my 50th birthday approaching next year, it's a bit now or never for me at this point.  I don't have a career, I don't have children, it's just me here.  No one and nothing can stop me, unless it's ME getting in my own way.  I know sometimes, when the change is so huge and so overwhelming, it seems like it's indigestible.   But I know I just have to step back and take it in its entirety, to see the "big picture", and know that overall this is will lead us to an amazing future.

I will post again soon.

MISS GEE